This sheet draws on DBT-informed ideas (DBT is short for Dialectical Behavior Therapy). The big idea: some things can't be changed right now — being here, a rule, something that already happened. Fighting a fact that won't move adds pain on top of pain. Letting the fact be real is not saying it's okay — it frees your energy for the parts that can change.
Quick picture. It rains on courtyard day. You can spend the whole hour arguing with the sky — you're still inside, plus now you're furious. Or you can say "It's raining. That's real. What's still good about this hour?" The rain doesn't change either way. The hour does.
Your group leader brings the teaching; this page is your space to try it. You don't need to have been to any earlier group to do this one.
Two different sentences: "this is real" and "this is okay." This skill only ever asks for the first one.
| The fact | The treatment team added two more days to my stay. |
|---|---|
| Fighting it | Replayed "this isn't fair" all afternoon, snapped at my roommate, skipped the evening activity. Still here — just having a worse day. |
| Saying what's real | "I'm here two more days. I hate it AND it's what's happening." |
| Not saying it's okay | "I still don't like it. I just stopped arguing with the calendar." |
| Energy freed for | Wrote down two questions for the doctor and asked about an earlier phone slot. |
Pick something that feels okay to look at here. You get to decide how much to share.
1. One thing I can't change right now: being here right now a rule on the unit something that already happened a choice someone else made or:
2. What fighting it looks like for me: replaying it on a loop "it's not fair," all day snapping at people shutting down
3. Quick check: the fact already hurts. Is the fighting adding extra? yes — pain on top of pain maybe some not sure yet
4. Say what's real (you don't have to like it): "___ is what's happening right now. I don't have to call it okay."
5. One thing I CAN change today — where the freed-up energy goes (Rosa's was two questions for the doctor):